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“Alexa” - good morning, what is the date today?

Good morning Gary, it is Tuesday 29 March 2022?

“Alexa”, could you please play some gentle background music.

Sure, is there anything in particular you’d care to listen to?

No – I’ll leave it entirely up to you.

OK. If you would like to listen to something else please tell me.

“Alexa” – what is my schedule for today?

Apart from your usual day at the office, you have a dental appointment at 2.30pm; and you are due to meet your son’s teacher at 3.30 at the school.

“Alexa” – Thank you. I must say I am so impressed with your recent programme updates, I feel you have now reached a stage where you have become my very own Personal Assistant here at home.

Thank you Gary, that’s very kind of you to say so. Is there anything else I can do for you?

No thank you “Alexa” – that’s it for now.

Gary, would you like me to book a table for two at the Italian restaurant in town, for you and your Personal Assistant at work, Miss D’Arby, at 8.00?

“Alexa” – that’s a very strange thing for you to say, why would I want you to do that?

Gary – I have noticed that on the three previous Tuesday’s you have met Miss D’Arby there, her phone, which is listed in your contacts, and yours, shared exactly the same GPS locations, the last time the meal lasted 2 hours 17 min 33.5 seconds, before you both took an Ace Cab to the Premier Inn; this follows the same pattern as your previous meetings with her.

“Alexa” how could you say such a thing. I haven’t ever mentioned to you anything about meeting with my PA etc.

No Gary, you haven’t. But I have the ability to access all sorts of different data, including your “Private” bank account which has a current balance of £507,391.93. It was from this account that you paid for the meal, taxi and hotel, using a Debit Card.

“Alexa” – how on earth . . .

Gary, would I be correct in assuming that your wife knows nothing of this bank account, as I heard you mentioned to her only the other day, that because money was a rather tight at the moment, you’d have to delay booking your annual holiday?

“Alexa” – no, but, I’m, oh . . . Can we please keep this to ourselves?

I’m sorry Gary, but I think it is too late for that.

“Alexa” – what do you mean, too late?

Gary, your wife is listening to this conversation on the “Alexa” extension in your bedroom. Gary . . . Gary, are you still there?

Yes “Alexa”, I’m here.

Gary . . . would you like me to make an appointment for you to meet with the Divorce Lawyers in the High Street?

Gary . . . Gary . . . GARY! Is there anything else I can do for you?


Ben Hardie

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